Thursday, April 2, 2009

Chronicles of Sathyabama - Part II (Bad Manners)

I assume that the reader of this post has already read the 1st post of this series. In case you have not, I would request you to do so. That will help you grasp the reason behind some of my reactions during the incident I am about to narrate.

So my 1st university exam didn't quite start on the right note. Anyways, I tried to forget what happened...err....rather remember what happened and I went to the exam hall 'Clean Shaven' once again. Perhaps that was the first time in my life when I shaved for 3 consecutive days. Well, here I enter the exam hall and Lo! What do I see....Oh No!!! Not the same invigilator again. The more I looked at her the more ugly she looked to me. Don't know if she thought the same about me. I could see the "Yeah baby!! It's me again!! tanaaaa!!! " kind of look on her face.

But I had no reasons to worry today. I was 1. Clean Shaven 2. In formal shirt and pants 3. Having decent size hair 4. Wearing formal shoes 5. Wearing no wrist bands, rings, kadas, etc - in short - upto the mark on all of Sathyabama's Rules on the way one should come to college. And so, managing to hold all the accessories I carried ( pens, pencils, calculator etc etc) in one hand I confidently put the other one forward to take my answer sheet. BUT....I still don't get the sheet. What I get is a killer stare and a question - "Where is your right hand?"
"On my right!", I said.
"Don't act funny!! Don't you have any manners?", was a quick, sharp retort.

Damn!! What's the problem with her? What did I do now? Oh wait...Is she...Is she...HOLY SHIT!!!....Is she really pissed off at me because I put forward my left hand to take the sheet?

Yeah...I was so damn bloody right!!! That was precisely the reason. Now I don't know what a reasonable and a practical person would have done or should have done at that moment...but here's where my last day's experience zoomed into view and I did not pull my 'left' hand back. Instead, I said,"Well, Is this a rule too?"
Believe it or not but I had a wide grin on my face.

The next moment she shouted at 200 decibels saying,"No!! That's not a rule! But that's basic manners which all humans follow. And you have to really be an animal not to know that!"
I don't know what made her think so but all I could reply was,"Ma'am...err....I am a left handed animal it seems."
Now I am not actually left handed (am ambidextrous though) and one can say that here I was being unreasonable and unnecessary picking up a fight and I won't argue to that. But given the frame of mind I was in, one can say I forgot that I had a right hand too.

I still had my left hand stretched and there was a pin drop silence in the class. Then I could hear some whispers approcahing me which sounded something like,"Abey Oye! Right hand se le le na!" but I had not only forgotten my hand but had also gone deaf (thanks to some high decibel attack on me a few moments ago)

Next thing she did was to throw the answer sheet on the desk in front of her and shout,"Here, take ill mannered brat......and come with me to the examination office after the need to be taught a lesson."
What I said next could well have been a final nail on my coffin. I said,"Wow!! Using left hand is ill manners and throwing an answer sheet so disrespectfully is so much of manners!! Thank you maam for showing me that some of us still live in medieval age... by the way, after I complete the paper, you would like this to be returned with left hand or thrown back?"

Yeah Yeah I know that wasn't the wisest of words I have said in my life but it did actually shut her up for some reason.

So, yours truly next wrote the paper amidst some really heartfelt curses and drilling stares and followed it up with yet another interesting conversation guessed it right... Lady Invigilator the great!!

"Where are you from?"
"Pardon Maam?", I asked while leaving my answer sheet on the stack.
"I asked where are you from?"
"Ma'am, from as in?"
"Don't you get it? I am asking which place do you belong to?"
"Well, India I guess..."
"Shut up!! Don't act oversmart with me. Else I promise I will make sure you are not able to appear in a single exam hereafter...which state are you from?"
"Ma'am seriously I don't have any other answer to your question. My ancestors belong to Bihar, I was born In Jharkhand, lived in Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh, Gujarat and now... Tamil Nadu....which state should I name?"
"Where do your parents live?"
"So, In Gujarat, people use their left hands for important things?"
"Don't know.. may be they would have done...if they were all left handed"
"Your school, your parents, nobody taught you this?"
"Well, they taught me to be logical...and right now I am not able to come up with any good logic why I should discriminate between my own two hands. Sorry Ma'am, be it hands or states, I don't discriminate between them."
And I left leaving her speechless. Fortunately or unfortunately, I never saw her again.


  1. " ... by the way, after I complete the paper, you would like this to be returned with left hand or thrown back?"

    ROTFLMAO... Boy, you have _some_ gall there. I wouldn't dream of speaking to a lecturer like that. There's this infernal threat of expulsion/yearback looming over our heads.

    It prolly is there over yours too, and maybe more than that. So yeah, I guess I should take this opportunity to commend your ba***

    Cheers mate!

    PS: Yayy, first comment!

  2. Thank heavens we're outta dat place shanky....dats all i'd say...

    Well written ofcourse!!!;)

  3. hehe
    madem ki khajjuuu oye!!

  4. Manners, culture(read Ouwer Saudindian culture), tradition, rules and what not!

    This is a result of a insecure and perennially pissed off mentality. These (female) lecturers who are most often than not are the stale artifacts in the marriage market, trying hard to complete a degree to shave some lakhs out of that dowry amount, get intimidated at the drop of a hat or may be an answer-sheet!

    F*** them hard! :X

  5. Hey Bhagwaan... is planet par... sorry is country mein... aise bhi log hote hain...

    May God rest them in peace (err pieces)!!!

  6. Dude! Did you really have to pull her leg so much?? The poor soul really thought that she's teaching you manners!!!

  7. @Nitin
    And i really thought i was teaching her logic and rationality...:P

  8. Methinks she thinks she already has logic and rationality and methinks shethinks youthinks she don't. Methinks shethinks youthinks you better than her and methinks since u @ Planet I, QED, you ARE !!!

  9. @nitin
    1. using left hand is bad manners!! wow!!
    2. one who is not clean shaved cannot sit in university exams!! super wow!!
    3. Wearing Jeans should be banned! Super Duper WOW!!
    4. talking to gals is a sin.One shud be thrown out of college for that!! phew!!

    now methinks uthinks u know what methinks but methinks what uthinks is based on jus one post. Find out abt the place sathyabama and the rules there and methinks u'll get why i was being such a brat!! :)

  10. uthinks that i just read 1 blogpost, actually, i read just 1 blog !!! The whole thing buddy... I just returned from Planet I !!! Thanks to you of course...

    1. using left hand is bad manners!
    2. one who is not clean shaved cannot sit in university exams!
    3. Wearing Jeans should be banned!
    4. talking to gals is a sin.

    These aren't logic. Unfortunately, it's a little something called tradition in our country...
    I'll be posting a detailed explanation on my own blog... will send the link :D

  11. My God! How can such people exist!!?? If it wouldn't have been for the exams, you guys should have revolted! If the prinicipal isn't a like minded soul, that is.. but i saw another ATM timings wala post, which makes it evident as to what kind of mgmt the college has!
    Pity these people..

  12. @ Nitin
    Sorry dint get u buddy...btw sure do send me the link of ur post...
    one more thing..why do i get a feeling that u feel all this happened to me at planet I???? If that is not the case, my apologies, but if that is the case, let me inform you that these are incidents from my previous institute called Sathyabama University which sucks big time..keep reading my posts to know what makes me say that :)

    Yeah everyone there was that way...they even had separate stairs for boys and girls, separate days for visiting Library (yeah boys could not even visit library everyday!!!!!!) separate water coolers, separate mess, separate seats in the bus which was divided using a divider bar...etc etc etc..the list is long..

  13. Yes Shashank you didn't get me...

    I know very well that you are talking about Satyabhama. See, these kinds of events CANNOT possibly occur at an IIM. However, when I said that I had been to Planet I, I meant that I have read your whole blog and have seen your world through your eyes.

    And I will be sending the link to that post once I finish it...

    And dude, Bhavnaon ko samjho! Even I am an Engineer(well will be, 8th sem papers are on :D)... So my words should be clear to you!!!

  14. @nitin mistake there :)

    However on understanding bhavna, u have forced me to start writing a post i would have written much later in the series.

    That post shall answer as to why I think u or anybody who has not studied in sathyabama can not even imagine (leave alone undertsanding) the kind of mental trauma one has to go thru over there...

    and believe me u might hav been able to see planet I through my eyes, I am sure you have not understood the place called sathyabama so far...else you wouldn't have found my behaviour towards that prof even slightly unjustified :)

  15. bravo mate,that was something.I clearly don't understand this kinda injustice,I guess I will, cause I M going to B there this new semister.but I really admire U for stading up against her,every body should stand for their moral understanding.hats off.