Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Viral Stats

This post comes as the result of a chat with GBF fame Abhishek over his post -27 vital stats you must know

Stats that you dint know you always knew :D

  1. 79% of the guys do not wash their jeans before using them for a month at least. 90% of them say they wash it everyday in the presence of their girlfriend or mother.
  2. 88% of the people who hate Windows and Microsoft can't operate any other operating system and have not heard about any other office suite than MS Office.
  3. 92% of people who enter a mall empty handed come out empty handed too.
  4. 69% is the probability of a person boasting to be an occasional drinker to get sloshed in a party.
  5. 81% of B School students subscribing to Economic Times or Business Standard use it only as 'raddi'.
  6. 21% of the newspaper readers wonder which 'page 3' do others keep talking about.
  7. 99.99% of people who talk about open mindedness, modern thinking and legitimacy of pre marital sex would beat the shit out of you if you put their mother or sister in question.
  8. Only 14% of the people who call their dads "Dad" and moms "Mom" actually ever address them by these words. 90% of the remaining still use the words "Mummy" and "Papa"
  9. 98% of what you are taught under professional courses is not useful in any profession
  10. 84% of all film lovers claim to have loved Schindler's List, Citizen Kane and Lawrence of Arabia. 80% of those slept through these movies.
  11. 91% of those who claim Marlon Brando to be their favorite actor have never watched any movie of his other than The Godfather.
  12. 73% of those who criticize cricketers on their batting techniques have never played a single perfect cover drive in life
  13. Only 18% of multiplex goers ever buy popcorn there if they are not with their girlfriends.
  14. 100% buy popcorn in the presence of girlfriend
  15. The probability of the ugliest chick being the one with maximum make up is 99.66%
  16. The remaining 0.34% is when either an actress or an eunuch is around.
  17. 81% of all creative ideas strike when one is in the loo.
  18. 74% of the people who happen to look at their watches at 12 o'clock in the presence of a Sardar follow it up with a glance at the Sardar.
  19. The time spent by a guy with a beautiful wife looking at her is 0.5%. Remaining is the time spent by him checking out whether some one else is checking out his wife.
  20. 78% of bachelors consider a pack of Maggi as a good Dinner.
  21. Only 2% of the students in a class write completely original assignments. 10% copy from those 2%. 25% copy from those 10% and 63% copy from those 25%.
  22. 62% of comments on blogs are just "Nice post" or something meaning similar.
Do let me know your top picks!

17 comments:

  1. hahahahaa
    enjoyed reading the stats!
    LOL..point no. 18 had me fall off the couch
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. LMAO @ 1 and 7.
    Seen a lot of such people.
    Especially regarding the pre marital sex.

    After I hear all their scintillating 'modern' talk, I just feel like laughing on their faces and saying "Yeah, right".

    Oh and BTW... "Nice Post" :P :P :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. guilty as charged (under sec. 22)

    nice post buddy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. :)
    dhasu che re

    maggie is a staple food for those who dont kno cooking and some 30% (tukka) or somthin like that fall in it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 84% of the people who are laughing their a**es off after reading this post belong to at least 13 of the 22 categories of people described in it :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well saving you the effort of referring to the main list, no numbers here!

    # 74% of the people who happen to look at their watches at 12 o'clock in the presence of a Sardar follow it up with a glance at the Sardar.

    # The time spent by a guy with a beautiful wife looking at her is 0.5%. Remaining is the time spent by him checking out whether some one else is checking out his wife.

    # 21% of the newspaper readers wonder which 'page 3' do others keep talking about.

    Absolutely original stuff! that's what i like, observations devoid of any cliches'. Soopraa! :)(in addition to the first two which we already discussed!)

    "I write cliches of tomorrow" could be our punchline! :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. and i have urged my readers to hop over to gajabkhopdi as well! Linked you frm my post! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just to prove ur stats right :P :P

    Nice post ;)

    Supriya

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Preiya : thanx...
    I am sure you will recall point no 18 96% of the times you see a sardar at 12 o'clock

    @Nano
    thanx :)

    @Subidit,Supriya
    at least top picks to bata dete :P

    @joiedevivre
    Kasam se....agar maggi 150 years pehle bhi bana hota to aaj roti kapda makaan ki jagah maggi kapda aur makaan hota :P

    @nishant
    thanx for point no 23 :)

    @GBF
    thanx...
    lets start a copy writing firm together as we had planned (and to some extent even executed) a few months back.... uska punchline yehi rakhenge....:)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fantastic writing!!

    Loved the points on jeans, B-school students subscribing to ET and BS, guys buying popcorn for their girlfriends and guys claiming to have loved Citizen Kane, Lawrence of Arabia et al.

    Btw, you can add 68% of people starting to read Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children never complete it, and a similar percentage of people claiming to have loved FountainHead never got underneath it!! And yes, I am honest enough to admit I fall in the majority in this case :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. why dont u and abhishek team up? lol :D

    my top 3 favs were
    1) 99.99% of people who talk about open mindedness, modern thinking and legitimacy of pre marital sex would beat the shit out of you if you put their mother or sister in question.Only 14% of the people who call their dads "Dad" and moms "Mom" actually ever address them by these words.

    2) 91% of those who claim Marlon Brando to be their favorite actor have never watched any movie of his other than The Godfather.

    3)Only 2% of the students in a class write completely original assignments. 10% copy from those 2%. 25% copy from those 10% and 63% copy from those 25%
    last one abt blogs was terrific too :D
    great job :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Nice Post"

    :D :D :D :D :D

    haha... hope this adds up a few notches to the percentages you are running in the post :P

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous7:06 AM

    1. My views about denims 'the dirtier the better'...ahhem..just for the denims! :P
    3.Thats why i hate mall culture..86.87%of people actually enter a mall just to enjoy the air conditioned view of sohni kudis :P
    7.True..absolutely true!!
    9. :D
    13.hehhe..bingo! :P..rest of em look out for if they are selling lays/uncle chips etc..
    21. Hehhe..and those 2% are always in demand wen the deadline is near :D

    Great hai!


    -Deepa!(ref:GBF :P)

    ReplyDelete
  14. @arnav thanx for the new stat :)

    @mads This is somewhat a result of us (myself and abhishek) teaming up only...in fact we too realize that we make a great team... :)

    @deepa thanx for visiting the blog...i hope it doesnt remain your only visit to gajabkhopdi

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ye bata.. how did you determine the stats :P

    #23

    90% of people who question the source, do it for sheer pleasure and are not really interested in answers :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I will add a 62% feature!:P

    Nice post! :P

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Nainy: hmm...so i guess such questions should be ignored 100% of the times...hai na? :P

    @Rushabhh: Thanks buddy!!

    ReplyDelete