Why Am I Not

Why am I not what I wanted to be
Why did I fall in the traps I could see
Chasing a goal that's never been mine
Confused asshole now paying the fine
First racing amongst the rats to the fore
Then claiming not to be a rat anymore
But rat is all I've been known to become,
My success lies in going deeper in scum.
My dreams are just dreams to this day,
Coz I searched for excuses than find the way,
I am just another voice in the crowd today
Coz I fell in queues than breaking away,
All I've been is what I pretended to be,
Ignorant of what I intended to be,
My life's more 'bout scribbles than scripts,
As I lie scattered in self made crypts.